It has been four days but it still seems unreal to me that this is happening to me. It was just swollen legs and wrists. Who knew it would be leukemia (blood cancer) - Chronic Eosinophilia Leukemia (CEL)? Especially when the first diagnosis came out to be cleared of leukemia.
Being in the doctor's room and hearing this news, I was in a blank state of mind. There were tons of questions which I should have asked, but I was unable to brainstorm about it. Right after, I had to rush to my examinations and then gathering with my group mates. I was just too preoccupied to sit down and digest what happened in the morning. The next moment, it was an immense discussion with D about our future outlook. It was emotional and I am still emotional when I sat down and tried to talk about my condition. I was insecure, still insecure despite already being the fourth day. I felt bad and am still feeling bad that I am making people around me worried and heartbroken.
Walking into the traditional medicine shop, the sales lady straightaway told me that there is no cure for blood cancer. It was like daggers to my heart. Truth is harsh and it hurts. Please please please let my blood test be better this Friday and it would be awesome if the doctor can announce it as 'your condition has stabilized'.
Really glad and thankful to have really supportive family, grateful for D and his family to accept an unhealthy me, and encouraging friends. Without their support, I am probably still in tears and feeling depressed about all these. It sucks.